WRESTLE MANIACS editor Adam Howe trawled gymnasiums, carnivals, flophouses and hospital wards looking for a big-name wrestler who was brain-damaged and attention-starved enough to write the foreword for this new collection. He really hit pay-dirt when Jeff Strand introduced him to the frankly terrifying Pulverizing Pat McCrunch – a true icon of the squared circle, and a legend in his own lunchtime…
Name: Pulverizing Pat McCrunch
Story Title: Foreword
Firstly, how would you pitch your story to potential readers?
It’s not a story. It’s the foreword. A little research on your part would be nice.
Did it turn out how you expected?
Better. Way better. Readers are in for a great big let-down when they read the stories that follow it.
What is the first wrestling match that you can recall watching?
My brother’s head bashing into the floor. (Chill out. The floor was carpeted. His memory came back less than two weeks later.)
Do you have any favourite eras, or matches?
Every match from every era of the career of Pulverizing Pat McCrunch. Roar!!!
If you had to compare your fiction to any wrestler, who would it be and why?
I don’t write fiction. I mentioned that in the very first question. I’m a busy guy, and I don’t have time for these questions if you can’t even bother to get your facts straight. In fact, I’m done answering them. Bug somebody else.
Which of your fellow contributors would be most likely to win a Battle Royale?
See my response to your previous question. This interview is over.
Finally, do you have any additional publishing plans for 2017/18 and beyond?
You’re not going to let up, are you? My experience with publishing has been that it’s filled with scrawny whiners, and I want no further part of it. If I wanted to read a book, I wouldn’t have spent so much time sculpting this hot bod. Go away.